Energy Uplift

There are so many things I dread doing: the laundry, asking for directions, or answering, “yes,” when asked if I need help in a store. But what I dread more than anything is intentionally starting what I know is going to be a challenging conversation.

These conversations take on many forms. It might be the awkward apology for acting like a complete and total ass (which happens a lot in my case), or it could be a meeting with a coworker that is bound to put us at odds. It might be some conversation with my husband that has always led to a fight in the past.

We as humans focus so much on our language and verbal communication that we forget that our non-verbal cues communicate just as much as our words. I, in fact, know there have been many times that I have been saying all of the right things, but not embodying the right spirit when speaking them. My mouth was saying one thing, but my face or posture was saying something else.

But lately, I’ve been starting to believe that it goes even further than that – that my intention and emotions get conveyed along with my words in very subtle ways. And like energy attracts. So, it is counterproductive if I am only “trying” to be diplomatic about a situation and using all the right words yet still holding onto any negativity or intention. It takes someone else being extra-kind in response to lift our interaction to a positive place.

So, I’ve been experimenting with lifting my emotional energy right before entering into those conversations – not entering them with my status quo, but preparing and lifting my spirits before I walk into the room. Essentially, emotional offsetting.

I raise my vibration to offset the negativity that might come up in the conversation or might be brought into the room by the other participant.

The results have been tremendous. In some instances, I feel the outcome of the conversation has been entirely different than it would be otherwise. Other times, it feels like we just sailed through major diplomacy, or even left it feeling uplifted.

I’ve now started practicing this energy offsetting for pitches, where I am presenting new ideas. I’ve even used it for performance reviews with team members. If I know in advance that a conversation could get sidelined entirely by the emotional response by any of the participants, I go in prepared.

How this works:

Before you start thinking I’m casting spells on people or Jedi mind-tricking them into submission, this isn’t about changing anything that anyone else does. It only has to do with me raising my positive energy vibration. And how do I do that? By saying high energy words repeatedly. Words that genuinely make me feel better and lift my spirit.

The words I use are:
Brilliant, Amazing, Kind, Gorgeous, Beautiful

I strung these together into my power phrase because they collectively have a poetic cadence. They are easy for me to remember (even when stressed), and are undeniably positive to my sarcastic mind. It can’t trick me into redefining any of them emotionally.

So, how long do I say them? Until I have undeniably changed my mood. I state them until I feel like singing them (which I, embarrassingly, sometimes do). Surprisingly, this routine usually doesn’t take that long – usually less than one minute.

Now, I have to be honest, the first time they fly out of my mouth, they feel fake, and I feel completely ridiculous. The second time, the words sound a little bit less awkward. The third, I seem a little less stupid. And by the time I get to seven times, they feel natural and somewhat authentic.

If I commit to focusing, really believing the words I’m saying, I can feel the cells in my body waking up, starting to dance. And I swear, the people I come in contact with feel the difference and reflect it at me.

I do have to admit one thing: I do this in private. I’m not yet confident enough to stand out in the middle of a busy office and talk to myself – everyone already knows I’m crazy enough. I certainly don’t need to have this routine caught on video.

I encourage you to try this too (preferably in private). Find words that speak to your spirit, that your mind cannot deny, and string them together. Say them over and over, until you feel free from any negative thought. I’ve included a list of words I enjoy below, but I trust you will find the right ones for you.

My Favorite Power Words*:

Brilliant
Amazing
Kind
Gorgeous
Beautiful
Ethereal
Iridescent
Incandescent
Luminescence
Eloquent
Effervescent
Magnanimous
Benevolent
Content
Dignified
Flourishing
Harmonious
Lustrous
Noble
Tranquility
Hope
Dream
Vibrant
Passion
Peace
Tranquility
Trust
Wow
Willing
Welcome
Joyous

*You may notice that I do not use parallel construction with this list. I find particular forms or certain words to be more uplifting. It is only a matter of preference, however. Use the words that make you feel the best.